I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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