I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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