dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
