Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
