brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just want to make out with him forever
The air taste purple.
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