Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
