its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think my mom watched the whole time
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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