this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
