Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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