He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
