If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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