Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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