i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
