Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The Olympian is in my bed
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