i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
