these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You may now shotgun with the bride
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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