Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
