Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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