Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
