weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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