Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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