I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
