did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
