1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
