I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
