I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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