I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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