Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
