Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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