plz talk dirty to me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
