the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
