That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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