I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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