my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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