11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
