And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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