How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
