I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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