Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
