I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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