Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think my moral compass just broke
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
