I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
