i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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