I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
