Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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