So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
