The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
