How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
