why didn't you poke me back
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
