I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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