You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
