so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
