you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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