YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
